March 2005

Spring Into Passion

Welcome to spring (almost)! In honor of the season of rebirth and renewal - get ready to renew the passion in your relationship. (If you're not currently in a romantic relationship you have the luxury of taking a spa day to renew yourself while attached folks attend to their relationships.)

There's an old saying that, "Spring is in the air" - this is partly related to the delicious smell of Jasmine, but it primarily refers to the energy we feel as all living things work to grow, bloom and blossom. While this is a natural process, it takes an extraordinary amount of energy and - yes - work! Like all parts of life that are colorful, vibrant and inspiring, our relationships also need work to grow and blossom.

Often couples have the expectation that love is all they need. And the belief that if a relationship needs work then it means that there's a problem. We hear this all the time, "Relationships should be easy! I shouldn't have to work this hard." Wrong!

But with a little effort the "work" to keep your relationship strong can be fun! Here are some tips to help you renew the passion in your relationship for spring:

1. Surprise each other: Think of the one thing you know would please your partner and make arrangements for it to happen unexpectedly. For those of you who may need a little direction here: (Men) Women love undivided attention! Plan a romantic dinner and leave your cell phone at home. Or organize a weekend getaway where the two of you can catch up on alone time. (Women) Men love sex! Think new fishnet stockings and high heels (or anything else you can imagine - if it involves you, a surprise and sex he'll love it!)
2. Rediscover your partner's dreams and fantasies: Plan time to have an intimate conversation where you ask the kinds of questions that you did while you were dating. For example, "If you had two months off work with no responsibilities, what would you do with that time?" or "What are the two most important dreams that you want to turn into reality in your lifetime?" or "When and how did you know that you were in love with me?"
3. Bring back "date night": Make each other a priority with a set evening every one or two weeks that is just for the two of you to spend together. Take turns planning these evenings and revel in your time with each other.
4. Public compliments: Next time you're at a social gathering together, make a point of praising your partner out loud for all to hear (including your partner). It will remind you of how special they are and will make them feel like the most loved and treasured person in the whole room.
5. Help without being asked: Take an item off your partner's "to do" list without being asked. Maybe that's taking their car to get a tune-up (since you know they loathe going to Jiffy Lube) or coming home an hour early from work to finish all the house duties that you normally share. Enjoy their surprise and delight!

All the rain these past few months has helped strengthen the flowers for their work this spring, just as your efforts will strengthen your relationship by reminding both of you how important you are to each other. Falling in love is easy; staying in love requires careful attention; and growing love requires constant nurturing, tenderness and care.

Enjoy the spring flowers. . . and each other!

The Talk Works Staff

back to "Tip of the Month" main page